Inspiration

"The difference between Try and Triumph is a little Umph." ~ Marvin Phillips

Lately I have been getting a lot of "you're an inspiration" speeches from people who have noticed that I am taking on my weight with a vengeance. It inspired me to decided to throw a little bit of this into my blog. So today... it's simply talking about why I'm doing what I'm doing and why my goals are what they are. Tomorrow... I will put up my first "pre-weight loss" photo for me to cringe about. I'm at the gym burning it... no reason I shouldn't face it face to face.

First of all -- I'm not losing weight to be skinny. I don't give a rats arse about being skinny. You can take your tall lanky model body type and toss it out the window... I could not care less about being skinny. Phew, now that we got that covered -- let's talk about why I am doing this.


1. I am currently at a BMI of 37.3 -- > Yeah.... damn.
2. I want to live a long life.
3. I want to walk into any store I deem fit and simply take what I want off the shelves without worrying about if they have my size or style in my size or if the people will laugh at me... or try to put me in a dress with my absolutely horrible legs.
4. I don't want more health problems. 


Those are four very good reasons to get off the couch and onto a treadmill (eventually the road... give me time, dammit!). I am currently at 238 lbs.. yes... I do weigh that much... no I'm not imagining it, and dammit... I don't care if I don't look it. Look at the number... the number DOES mean something when you are 26 years old, 5' 8", and are over 90 lbs above your healthy weight. Mind you... I said healthy weight. I don't care about what size my pants are... my risk for diabetes and a heart attack are major. My healthy weight (discussed with my doctor previously) is 155-165lbs. Ouch... that's a lot of weight.


So I'm setting goals... here they are:


<3 I will to be down 45 lbs by the end of September
<3 I will be down to my healthy weight range by my birthday (Feb 2nd)
<3 I will run at least a 5k next summer
<3 I will not be afraid to put on a swimsuit
<3 I will not beat myself up in the process
<3 I will make healthy choices without giving up life
<3 I will make myself proud
<3 I will set a good example for my children
<3 I will not be afraid anymore


There you have it. I have lost a little weight since I started... I am using MyFitnessPal to keep an eye on my calories and making sure I am getting all my nutrients in. Sometimes it yells at me because I didn't eat what it says was enough calories, but I figure if I'm full and I'm not losing out on something, I'm probably fine. I am making healthy choices at work and at home. I am drinking little to no soda and am drinking almost always only water/tea. I am going to the gym 2-3 days of the week and being active 4-5 days. 


I am trying to following this workout program, so far it really work for me and I like it. I'm following a diet that a friend of mine gave me that he and his wife had a good amount of success with. So far, it hasn't been bad... I've just been letting stress and excuses get to me. That's something I have to change right away. 


My own personal success this week: Monday I wanted to just go home and lay down, I was stressed, frustrated, the day had gotten to me and I wanted to give up. Instead... I went to the gym. I was on the treadmill warming up, started feeling better and then got the idea in my head: "If I leave here looking pretty, I didn't push hard enough." I pushed hard. By the time I was done on the elliptical and moving to the stationary bike, I was disgusting. But... it was good, I sweat out all the anger and frustration in me. It made me firmly believe that they aren't lying when they say to just go work out. It does actually make you feel better.


I'm heading to the gym tonight with my husband and brother-in-law... it will be a good night. I'm not exactly up to par... but it's not going to matter, it's time to push through and get through this. I will not continue to make excuses and I will not allow my fear hold me back anymore.